don’t need to be perfect

[I wrote this at 3am last night when I couldn’t sleep, due to feeling under the weather. It’s not polished or refined, but as you’ll see, that’s basically the point of this poetry. You don’t have to be perfect to be loved. “Perfect” is boring. I guess this is basically about how easy it is to compare ourselves to others, to think we’re not good enough, to feel like we constantly have to measure up to someone better than us. And that because we’re not as good as someone else we think we’ll never find love. You don’t need to be perfect. You really don’t.]

don’t need to be perfect

by Lissa (M.L.)

“Because yes, she may indeed be a hundred times more beautiful than you. And she might be more academically capable, or more artistically talented. She might be able to perfectly express what she is thinking, she might get any job she wants, or spend time with anyone she wishes to. She may be thinner than you, or more curvy than you.
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She may have a straight-forward way of introducing herself that attracts everyone in the room to her. Or she might stand shyly in the corner, with such an aloof and mysterious demeanor that everyone is vying to engage her in conversation. Her hair is probably much more smooth and calm than yours, and her eyes are the shade of the sky at its brightest, and she has the grace and elegance of a queen. She most likely has an extensive vocabulary, impeccable timing, and an immaculate sense of humor. She is perfect, if we’re being honest.
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But can I ask you something? Who likes perfect? Because again, if we’re being honest, I’ve never met someone who wants perfection. Sure, you might think everyone would want that, but once they discover it, in the world’s standards, they discover it is altogether too… boring. I know that he’s never wanted perfect.
He always hoped for someone with a few battle scars, a few stories to unravel. Someone who isn’t gorgeous in society’s standards. Someone who is short or tall, thin or thick, because, blast it all, he won’t care what you look like. You don’t have to be brilliantly intelligent, or incredibly creative. You don’t have to have perfect timing and an impeccable air of poise about you. He wants someone real, someone with depth, someone that takes time to get to know, and someone who will challenge and grow him.
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She might be able to write a biography that details exactly what happened in a person’s life. She might be able to paint a picture that shows exactly what that person looked like. But could she write a true to life piece on what that person felt? Or paint a masterpiece that captures not just what the person’s appearance was, but what they were thinking, hoping, dreaming of? Probably not. But you could.
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Maybe you’re the type of person who doesn’t know when to shut up, or the type of person who for the life of her can never seem to say a word. Maybe you’re somewhere in between. And that’s fine. That’s who’ll he’ll want.
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I think, if I know him at all, he’ll want someone with a twinkle in their eye, someone who falls and scrapes their knee, even when there was nothing to trip over, someone who has crazy, wild hair.
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He won’t care if you’re not perfectly collected like she is. I think he’ll like how at first glance, your brown eyes seem simple, mundane almost, but how when you get excited or passionate or that temper of yours flares, how your eyes light up and glimmer.
And maybe it’s just me, but when you accidentally snort because you’re laughing so hard you can’t breath, I think that will just make you all the more enchanting. I think when you accidentally introduce an awkward silence into the conversation, he’ll fill that with silent thoughts of how he wants to learn more about you.
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When you stare out a window for hours at a time, or listen to the same song over and over because it means so much to you, he’ll find that as an excuse to speak to you.
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When you accidentally let a tear drip down your face, because you’re tired of being tough, and you’re ready to be held, I think he’ll like that. I think every piece of the puzzle that makes up you, every layer yet to be unraveled, every complexity in your bones, every dream of your heart, every ache of your soul, well… I think he’ll love that. I think that he’ll love you.”
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[Lemme know what y’all thought, I’d love to have your two-cents worth.]
{Also, none of these photos belong to me}
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Through It All

As once again places around us are burning down, my heart is heavy. The fires are crazy this year, and this one is the closest to my home yet. I don’t know what God’s plan is, and it’s so heartbreaking to have people’s homes and belongings and businesses and basically everything they have be taken from them. We currently are safe, but that could change at any moment. I had to chose what I would save if the fire came closer, and that’s so terrifying to me. We are hosting someone who has lost his home, we are hearing of so many others. We see the fire looming in the distance and clouds of smoke everywhere. Pray for this fire to be contained and put out quickly. Pray for rain. And pray for peace and comfort for everyone who has lost something. I know that through it all God is here with us, and through it all, He has a plan.

“My flesh and heart may fail but God is the strength of my heart and my portion forever.” Psalm 73:26

“I lift my eyes to the hills. From where does my help come? My head comes from the Lord, who made heaven and earth.” Psalm 121:1-2

“For I am the Lord your God who takes a hold of your right hand and says ‘do not fear I will help you.'” Isaiah 41:13

I’m still here and alive!

 

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all photos belong to Unsplash

Heeeeeeyyyyyyy! Remember me? Yeah I’m still alive, I’m still here. I know it’s been over like four months since I last posted, but life just happened and I meant to post and haven’t and yeah. But here I am, alive and well, although utterly exhuasted from a wonderful but long couple of weeks (run-on sentences, anyone?).

So what have I been doing since early June? Lots of things, and lots of nothing. I spent the month of June doing school, since I had gotten so behind. I got to go to the beach multiple times this summer, hang out with lots of friends, go to camp and festivals, etc.

Hours spent with friends, hours doing school, time exploring new places, passing the one year anniversary of living in this house, etc.

Although I’ve also been a little bored with life, and had some disappointments in projects I was excited about. So that’s rough, but things will (hopefully) get better.

 

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I got to reconnect, grow closer, and even make a few new friends this year. I saw a shooting star for the first time this July, while on a roof in Idaho, I watched dozens of sunset, and once again hurt my ankle.

So I’d say overall it’s been a nice summer, and like every time in life, has had it’s ups and downs. Sorry I’ve been MIA, It’s just when I’m busy, I’m busy, and when I’m not busy, I just want to recuperate. Hopefully, I’ll be doing better with posting! TTFN!

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Here’s to…

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all images credit to Unsplash

//feeling grateful for everyone who is currently in my life, who has been in my life and whoever will be in my life. this post is dedicated to y’all (as you’re reading this you’ll most likely know who you are).//

HERE’S TO…

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Here’s to the people who’ve passed me by in the street and smiled.

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Here’s to my mother for always being there, for showing me what love is.

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Here’s to my father for buying me flowers on birthdays or when I’m not feeling well.

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Here’s to my best friend, and the time we spend together.

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Here’s to my siblings and our dumb inside jokes.

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Here’s to the ones with depression.

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Here’s to the farm boy who tells the punny jokes.

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Here’s to the few like me who don’t like coffee.

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Here’s to my ballerina/ lioness/ honorary sister.

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Here’s to the people I don’t get along with, because we’re too different, or maybe because we’re too similar (even tho we hate to admit it).

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Here’s to the people who have hurt me, in the long run you’ll have made me stronger (I’ve forgiven but not forgotten).

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Here’s to the boy who’ll someday hold my hand.

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Here’s to my role model, who reminds me what’s important.

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Here’s to the One who made me and everything else. (without Him we are nothing)

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Here’s to the girl with the messy hair and sad smile (the one that’s me, but don’t worry, I’m keeping my chin up).

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Here’s to everyone who has made me who I am and will be.

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Here’s to all of you.

What If…? Tag

Fantasy-Month-Tag

Thanks to Musings of an Elf, who didn’t tag anyone specifically but said anyone could do it, and here I am once again, not knowing what the heck to write about, so I’m doing this tag.

  • Thank the blogger who tagged you.
  • Include the graphic somewhere in your post.  (above)
  • Answer the questions.
  • Tag a few blogger friends – and let them know they’ve been tagged.
  • Have fun!

marvin-van-beek-555040-unsplash 1. Your car breaks down in the middle of nowhere. The cast of the most recent fantasy book you read comes to your assistance… who are they? Will they be helpful?

The last fantasy book I read was also Wrinkle in Time. So I feel like there would be some helpfulness and some very obnoxious rabbit trails. I think eventually the job would be completed though.

 

beep2. You go to bed one evening and wake up in the lair of the villain of the last fairy tale you read, where are you and how do you plan to get out?

I read a short story spin-off of Rapunzel, so Mother Gothel I suppose. That would not be fun.

 

faun3. You are transported into a fantasy realm and given a mythical creature as a companion and best friend… which mythical creature do you get?

I can choose? Hmm. How about a Faun?

 

lucy4. In a strange series of coincidences, you end up needing to take the place of your favorite fantasy hero or heroine. Who are you?

Oh! How fun! I would be Lucy Pevensie. I would love to be her.

 

lu5. To go along with question #4, now that you are that character, is there anything you would do differently than that character, now that you are running the show?

Idk she handles everything pretty darn well. So no I guess.

 

grumpy6. If you were yourself in a fantasy novel, what role do you think you would play in the story?

Probably a grumpy person who the good guys need something from, like a cool object or something. I’d be a very minor, but semi-vital character.

 

mandolin7. One morning, as you are going about your daily business, you pick up an everyday item and a voice booms in your head with prophetic words about your future. What object is it, and what is your prophecy?

Hmmmph… Um. An old instrument and the words would say “You shall learn to play this with skill, and with it you shall through the world mill. Adventure will come, heartache will too,  in the end will come joy.”  and I’ll say to myself, ‘that last bit doesn’t even rhyme’ and then be rebuked by someone for critiquing it.

 

naiad8. You are transported into a magical realm and turned into a mythical beast… what beast/fantasy creature do you want to be?

Again, maybe a faun. Or perhaps a naiad. (yes I’m a wee bit obsessed with Narnia)

 

narn9. If you could read your way into any fantasy realm, but the catch is that you can never leave, would you? Which realm would you choose?

You’ll never guess. Narnia. Haha, I just love everything about Narnia.

 

magical10.  As you are going about your normal day, you discover that you have a magical power. What is it?

Magical healing powers? Something like that.

{all images from Unsplash or Pinterest}

Basically the moral of the story is, take me to Narnia. Please.

How about you? What mythical creature would you want as your best friend? Last fantasy book you read?

I tag Ann @ Ann Without an E and Fish Stick @ On the Other Hand but if y’all don’t wanna do it, no pressure.

Only, You ARE Enough

enough[photo credit to Unspash ]

I struggle with seeing that I’m worth anything. Or that I’m enough of a person to make a difference.

I lack in self-confidence and I overcompensate for that by pretending I’m entirely confident. It’s an ironic, twisted way of thinking, and it comes second nature to a lot of people who struggle with loving themselves.

I don’t like my personality, or my body, or my talents, but God gave them all to me for some reason. I may not know why right now, but He knows.

But how do you be enough?

Through God.

And only through God.

‘It is not that we are competent in ourselves to count anything as having come from us; on the contrary, our competence is from God.’~ 2 Corinthians 3:5

We are not enough.

Not by ourselves, not when we rely only on ourselves as sinning humans.

Only, you are enough.

You are enough when you submit to God. When you trust His will.

But he said to me, “My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.” Therefore I will boast all the more gladly of my weaknesses, so that the power of Christ may rest upon me. ~ 2 Corinthians 12:9

Often, I feel like I don’t have any purpose. Especially as I see others doing amazing things and growing spiritually and I’m just over here like…

I’m sure you’ve felt like that, too, right?

Only, you are enough.

“Fear not, for I have redeemed you; I have called you by your name; you are Mine. When you pass through the waters, I will be with you; and through the rivers, they shall not drown you. When you walk through the fire, you shalt not be burned, neither shall the flame kindle upon you. For I am the Lord your God, the Holy One of Israel, your Savior; I gave Egypt for your ransom, nations for you. Since you were precious in My sight because you have been honored, and I love you; therefore will I give men for you and people for your life. ~ Isaiah 43:1b-4

That’s how much He loves you. He redeemed you, He calls you by name. YOU ARE HIS. He protects you, He desires you. YOU ARE PRECIOUS TO HIM! He loves and cherishes you. And I think that tells you that you are enough!

And when you feel hopeless, because you’re not doing anything with your life, when you feel like there is no point in you even being alive, you’re pondering why you’re here, why you’re bothering to do things every day, here’s encouragement:

The Lord will fulfill his purpose for me; your steadfast love, O Lord, endures forever. Do not forsake the work of your hands. ~ Psalms 138:8

“I will never leave you, never will I forsake you.” ~ Hebrews 13:5c

When you’re sick of how you look and feel, you hate looking in a mirror.

For you have made me glad, Lord, by the works of your hands I sing for joy. ~ Psalms 92:4 (I actually wrote this out on a fun design on several sticky notes and put them on my mirror so that way when I look at myself and feel like having a pity-party, I am reminded of His greatness.)

I will praise you because I have been remarkably and wondrously made. Your works are wondrous, and I know this very well. ~ Psalms 139:14

When you get tired of struggling, when you want to give up:

“Come to me, all of you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest.” ~ Matthew 11:28

He has a purpose for you because He will love you for eternity.

Give thanks to the God of gods. His faithful love endures forever. ~ Psalms 136:2

Or if you have made a mistake, and feel like you can never be forgiven, never be enough again, take comfort. You are enough. Not to say you can’t try harder to be even more godly, but you do not have to depress yourself because you’re not perfect. You will never be even close to perfect in this life. But you are loved. He forgives.

If we confess our sins, He is faithful and righteous to forgive us our sins and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness. ~ 1 John 1:9

Her sins, which are many, are forgiven her. ~ Luke 7:47

Remember that you serve the God who conquered death. You serve the God who spent time to create you. You serve the God who forgives, over and over. You serve a holy, קודש, King. He made you, but you still say ‘I’m not good enough.’

Only, you ARE enough.